With What I Have Left

Melissa thought her family was normal and took all her mother’s comments on board. She believed she was no good and was a burden to her mother, father and siblings. She was often sick, and her mother couldn’t wait to tell everyone about the ‘problem’ child. Melissa used self-talk to keep herself together. Melissa grew up and found she was not only good at her chosen profession; she excelled. She was earning six figures, had a company car, international and interstate travel, a husband, a beautiful home and was at the top of her career. Cerebral Atrophy then struck. Melissa’s world fell apart. She lost everything. The self-harm that she had kept a secret now became suicidal ideation. She began a conversation with her illness, and it kept her resilient. It wasn’t until she went into therapy that she discovered truths about her mother that shattered her perception of ‘normal.’ So began a journey of self-discovery, reflection on the past and the search for what makes life meaningful. In this powerful memoir, Melissa shows us how we can find joy despite what has happened in our lives and how, when facing an unknown future, it is more important than ever to seek out what makes our lives matter.

Melissa thought her family was normal and took all her mother's comments on board. She believed she was no good and was a burden to her mother, father and siblings. She was often sick, and her mother couldn't wait to tell everyone about the 'problem' child. Melissa used self-talk to keep herself together. Melissa grew up and found she was not only good at her chosen profession; she excelled. She was earning six figures, had a company car, international and interstate travel, a husband, a beautiful home and was at the top of her career. Cerebral Atrophy then struck. Melissa's world fell apart. She lost everything. The self-harm that she had kept a secret now became suicidal ideation. She began a conversation with her illness, and it kept her resilient. It wasn't until she went into therapy that she discovered truths about her mother that shattered her perception of 'normal.' So began a journey of self-discovery, reflection on the past and the search for what makes life meaningful. In this powerful memoir, Melissa shows us how we can find joy despite what has happened in our lives and how, when facing an unknown future, it is more important than ever to seek out what makes our lives matter.