The Racism of People Who Love You

An unflinching look at the challenges and misunderstandings mixed-race people face in family spaces and intimate relationships across their varying cultural backgrounds In this emotionally powerful and intellectually provocative blend of memoir, cultural criticism, and theory, scholar and essayist Samira Mehta reflects on many facets of being multiracial. Born to a white American and a South Asian immigrant, Mehta grew up feeling more comfortable with her mother's family than her father's--they never carried on conversations in languages she couldn't understand or blamed her for finding the food was too spicy. In adulthood, she realized that some of her Indian family's assumptions about the world had become an indelible part of her--and that her well-intentioned parents had not known how to prepare her for a world that would see her as a person of color. Popular belief assumes that mixedness gives you the ability to feel at home in more than one culture, but the flipside shows you can feel just as alienated in those spaces. In 7 essays that dissect her own experiences with a frankness tempered by generosity, Mehta confronts questions about: authenticity and belonging; conscious and unconscious cultural inheritance; appropriate mentorship; the racism of people who love you. The Racism of People Who Love You invites people of mixed race into the conversation on race in America and the melding of found and inherited cultures of hybrid identity.

An unflinching look at the challenges and misunderstandings mixed-race people face in family spaces and intimate relationships across their varying cultural backgrounds In this emotionally powerful and intellectually provocative blend of memoir, cultural criticism, and theory, scholar and essayist Samira Mehta reflects on many facets of being multiracial. Born to a white American and a South Asian immigrant, Mehta grew up feeling more comfortable with her mother's family than her father's--they never carried on conversations in languages she couldn't understand or blamed her for finding the food was too spicy. In adulthood, she realized that some of her Indian family's assumptions about the world had become an indelible part of her--and that her well-intentioned parents had not known how to prepare her for a world that would see her as a person of color. Popular belief assumes that mixedness gives you the ability to feel at home in more than one culture, but the flipside shows you can feel just as alienated in those spaces. In 7 essays that dissect her own experiences with a frankness tempered by generosity, Mehta confronts questions about: authenticity and belonging; conscious and unconscious cultural inheritance; appropriate mentorship; the racism of people who love you. The Racism of People Who Love You invites people of mixed race into the conversation on race in America and the melding of found and inherited cultures of hybrid identity.