I Saw Satan at the 7-Eleven

He was dressing low-profile, but it was definitely him: red skin, horns, barbed tail, cloven hoofs, black goatee. He was unmistakable. Satan was buying soy milk and forty bucks' worth of unleaded fuel. In a small town two miles north of Hell, our deadbeat narrator spots Satan filling up his red Corvette at the 7-Eleven. Satan's a washed-up has-been who's totally lost his edge . . . but when their eyes meet across the parking lot, the two embark on a torrid romance, by turns screwball, surreal, terrifying and tender. Christopher Brett Bailey's electrifying monologue premiered at Soho Theatre, London, in April 2026. 'Landing blow after blow right in the kisser of literary decorum, this freewheeling freak-out proves once and for all that language is no match for counter culture's last living mutant, Christopher Brett Bailey. You aren't ready and you never will be.' LAUREN J JOSEPH 'Devilishly good nasty fun. Hilarious and perversely sexy. A literary acid trip.' LYDIA LUNCH 'A short sharp shock of a story, every sentence spoken is filled with something grotesque, hilarious, deeply sad or some unholy melding of all three. It's so gross! It made me very happy.' ALISON RUMFITT 'It's the ultimate road-trip into The Badlands. A pick-up at a 7-Eleven two miles north of Hell. The Devil in a red Corvette, nursing a pint of soya milk and the raging horn. Who could possibly resist? Fans of The Cramps, David Lynch and John Waters strap in - Christopher Brett Bailey is hotrodding his way to the Throne of Trash Culture and even Satan himself can't put on the brakes!' CATHI UNSWORTH (author of Weirdo and Season of the Witch: The Book of Goth ) 'Christopher Brett Bailey is a spectacularly brilliant wordsmith . . . his brain is permanently on fire. Hop on the back of his Harley, hold tight, you won't regret it.' TERRY GILLIAM

He was dressing low-profile, but it was definitely him: red skin, horns, barbed tail, cloven hoofs, black goatee. He was unmistakable. Satan was buying soy milk and forty bucks' worth of unleaded fuel. In a small town two miles north of Hell, our deadbeat narrator spots Satan filling up his red Corvette at the 7-Eleven. Satan's a washed-up has-been who's totally lost his edge . . . but when their eyes meet across the parking lot, the two embark on a torrid romance, by turns screwball, surreal, terrifying and tender. Christopher Brett Bailey's electrifying monologue premiered at Soho Theatre, London, in April 2026. 'Landing blow after blow right in the kisser of literary decorum, this freewheeling freak-out proves once and for all that language is no match for counter culture's last living mutant, Christopher Brett Bailey. You aren't ready and you never will be.' LAUREN J JOSEPH 'Devilishly good nasty fun. Hilarious and perversely sexy. A literary acid trip.' LYDIA LUNCH 'A short sharp shock of a story, every sentence spoken is filled with something grotesque, hilarious, deeply sad or some unholy melding of all three. It's so gross! It made me very happy.' ALISON RUMFITT 'It's the ultimate road-trip into The Badlands. A pick-up at a 7-Eleven two miles north of Hell. The Devil in a red Corvette, nursing a pint of soya milk and the raging horn. Who could possibly resist? Fans of The Cramps, David Lynch and John Waters strap in - Christopher Brett Bailey is hotrodding his way to the Throne of Trash Culture and even Satan himself can't put on the brakes!' CATHI UNSWORTH (author of Weirdo and Season of the Witch: The Book of Goth ) 'Christopher Brett Bailey is a spectacularly brilliant wordsmith . . . his brain is permanently on fire. Hop on the back of his Harley, hold tight, you won't regret it.' TERRY GILLIAM