How to Find Love

Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make. The cost of repeated failure is immense. And yet we are often so alone with the search. Partners used to be found for us by parents and society. Now we are expected to follow our feelings - and so locate people by ourselves, according to intuition. This should be an improvement, but our emotions often pull us towards hugely problematic characters and dynamics. How to Find Love explains why we have the ‘types’ we do - and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we can love. The book provides a crucial set of ideas to help us make safer, more imaginative and more effective choices in love.

Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make. The cost of repeated failure is immense. And yet we are often so alone with the search. Partners used to be found for us by parents and society. Now we are expected to follow our feelings - and so locate people by ourselves, according to intuition. This should be an improvement, but our emotions often pull us towards hugely problematic characters and dynamics. How to Find Love explains why we have the ‘types’ we do - and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we can love. The book provides a crucial set of ideas to help us make safer, more imaginative and more effective choices in love.