Diddly Squat

Brought to you by Penguin.Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone elseThen one day he decided he would do the farming himself.After all, how hard could it be?Well . . .Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .Praise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' THE GUARDIAN;'Shockingly hopeful' THE INDEPENDENT;'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' THE TELEGRAPH;'Quite lovely' THE TIMES(c) Jeremy Clarkson 2021 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Brought to you by Penguin.Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone elseThen one day he decided he would do the farming himself.After all, how hard could it be?Well . . .Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .Praise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' THE GUARDIAN;'Shockingly hopeful' THE INDEPENDENT;'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' THE TELEGRAPH;'Quite lovely' THE TIMES(c) Jeremy Clarkson 2021 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out _________ Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'. And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it. From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough. Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . . _________ 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES Diddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022

Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out _________ Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'. And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it. From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough. Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . . _________ 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES Diddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022

The all-new collection of hair-raising missteps and hilarious antics on Diddly Squat Farm, from gentleman farmer and two-time Sexiest Man Alive winner, Jeremy Clarkson. 'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMES Uncooperative animals, underperforming crops, and rather less than best-laid plans pursued with unbridled enthusiasm. Clarkson's farm is the gift that keeps on giving. But, as one overseas visitor* admitted, he only came to Diddly Squat because he just didn't believe that Jeremy could be so incompetent. Not one to be discouraged, however, our hero decides to bring his misunderstood entrepreneurial flair to bear on a new venture: a pub. And just a few short weeks later, the doors open on The Farmer's Dog . All British produce, Hawkstone beer on tap, a private bar for farmers and a vintage tractor hanging from the ceiling. The perfect country pub. A welcome distraction from sustainable farming initiatives, psychedelic wheat, angry protests in central London and a headbutting goat. What, you may be asking, could possibly go wrong? On top of the lavatories packing up and the electricity running out, you mean? As the Cotwolds' newest publican quickly discovers, there's a lot more to landlording than pulling pints. Just as well, then, that he still has Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald to help him through. Especially now his doctor's told him he's got to become a vegetablist ... *along with the whole of the rest of China, apparently ___________ Praise for Clarkson's Farm 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

The all-new collection of hair-raising missteps and hilarious antics on Diddly Squat Farm, from gentleman farmer and two-time Sexiest Man Alive winner, Jeremy Clarkson. 'Fans of Prime TV series Clarkson's Farm will enjoy this companion' IRISH TIMES Uncooperative animals, underperforming crops, and rather less than best-laid plans pursued with unbridled enthusiasm. Clarkson's farm is the gift that keeps on giving. But, as one overseas visitor* admitted, he only came to Diddly Squat because he just didn't believe that Jeremy could be so incompetent. Not one to be discouraged, however, our hero decides to bring his misunderstood entrepreneurial flair to bear on a new venture: a pub. And just a few short weeks later, the doors open on The Farmer's Dog . All British produce, Hawkstone beer on tap, a private bar for farmers and a vintage tractor hanging from the ceiling. The perfect country pub. A welcome distraction from sustainable farming initiatives, psychedelic wheat, angry protests in central London and a headbutting goat. What, you may be asking, could possibly go wrong? On top of the lavatories packing up and the electricity running out, you mean? As the Cotwolds' newest publican quickly discovers, there's a lot more to landlording than pulling pints. Just as well, then, that he still has Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald to help him through. Especially now his doctor's told him he's got to become a vegetablist ... *along with the whole of the rest of China, apparently ___________ Praise for Clarkson's Farm 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES